“Every problem is solvable, it’s just how you’re gonna solve it”
In an old study in the back of Dismas House, Jason sat down to tell a story. Dismas House is an organization that provides an "important platform for healthy reentry from prison to those most in need of recovery, decent work, and housing." Jason and many others have benefitted greatly from the aid and support provided by Dismas House. Before he began, Jason made sure to preface his story with the fact that everyone has a different experience. He tells a story of being incarcerated for 17 years in both Federal and State penitentiaries, and his post-incarceration life today. Although his time was difficult, he shared a message of hope and strength.
His time in federal prisons was bad, but state prison was worse. The state prisons didn’t treat prisoners like humans. Jason felt like another body in a giant system geared to turn a profit. Throughout history, the role of the prison system has changed. There has been a general trend towards rehabilitation, but the United States lags far behind the world on treating its prisoners with dignity. In Jason’s words, prison should “help people and move them along, not stop them.” The state profits from convicts in the prison system. Consequently, parole boards are incentivized to keep prisoners in the system in order to maximize profits. Even if prisoners do everything they are asked to do to get parole, they still get turned away. Jason saw that a single word spoken at the wrong time would sentence someone to a denied parole request. Even when Jason was eventually released, he and others recently released from prison faced and continue to face opposition.
Dehumanization wasn’t the only tool with which Jason was beaten down. While in prison, Jason was beaten with a lead pipe. He suffered a permanent head injury, lost treasured memories, and had to relearn how to walk and talk. He still lives with the impact of this assault, and acknowledges he “can’t get [his memories] back, but [he] can recover and move on”.
Jason was hopeful as he reflected on his personal growth: “you have to learn, you have to do it all yourself.” Nonetheless, he acknowledged that the violent environment of prison can impede individuals’ emotional development. He explained that “some people go into the jail at 18, and do 20 something years and still come out an 18 year old… because [they’re] not feeding [their] brain.” Instead, Jason explained, “you’re taught violence.” He stressed the isolation he feels and the importance of self-reliance, saying “what it boils down to is us as humans… how are you going to deal with it… every problem is solvable. It’s just how you’re gonna solve it.”
He recognizes that even now, he is just one bad decision away from going back to prison. However, he is grateful for the freedom to choose, for the freedom to try and be better. He said, “the best gift God gave [us] was choice, he gave everybody life, right and wrong.” Jason has experienced a lot of loss, but he “knew the consequences for every action.” He recognizes that his mistakes were completely his and have made him the man he is today.
Jason has also found solidarity with the other guys in Dismas House, which has been important to him. They are able to help each other out and support each other as they all struggle to reenter society. Jason supports his friends as much as he can, because “it is difficult out here if you don’t have that backbone, or that structure, or that gut.” Jason knows that everyone has bad days, but true character is determined by how one handles those bad days.
Little things like not wearing clothes in the shower and having his own laundromat have been adjustments for Jason. He explained that he had to learn that it was okay to let go of these things that had been a part of his life for so long. The world has changed a lot over the last 17 years, and it has been a source of anxiety for Jason. He remembers getting out of prison, and seeing everyone on their phones on the train. When he was imprisoned, smartphones didn’t exist and dial up internet was the norm. Re-entering society, Jason had to learn how to navigate the twenty-first century while still recovering from his life in prison.
Today, Jason is looking forward. He finishes his story on a note of hope: “this right here, having this conversation here, takes a whole lot of stress [away] because people actually listen. And that's all it takes. Is somebody to listen. You know what I mean? And maybe, in the future, you guys will change it...It's not gonna happen just as you walk out the door right now. But it's something that can be done.”